Modern society has taught me a lot about what it’s like to be a woman. One thing that I’ve personally run into is this idea of little girls always getting what they want. Being the youngest of 7 children, I was the youngest of 6 for 32 years of my life but thanks to ancestry.com and my dad’s bustling teen years that number has since increased. In this time, I have been constantly referred to as “the baby” but that reference has never sat well with me as I was never treated as “the baby”. I think this comes from my parents being exhausted after already raising so many children that with me they thought, “she’ll figure it out”. And I did! Growing up my nickname was “the beast” because to be frank I was a frickin’ beast! Most of the time I was dirty, playing sports, and not really giving much care to my appearance. Did I feel beautiful? The truthful answer is no, I didn’t. But the most truthful answer is that my beauty never defined how I felt about myself. Have I been confident? Yes! Have I been able to achieve in my life the goals I set for myself? Yes! So beauty had never fit into my personal idea of achieving in life what I deemed as valuable.
("The Beast" circa 1993)
Now fast forward in my life and I am 33 almost 34 years old. The concept of personal skill versus personal appearance in society has changed dramatically. My ability to maintain a steady income and support myself in different ventures versus my ability to always wear the right clothes and have a fit body do not really match with society’s opinion of my value or of what would make me a good match for a man.
In this opinion I have of society’s value of women I struggle to know one thing, am I the only woman who is thinking this? Do other women look on Instagram at these perfectly fit, tanned and impeccably well-dressed women and have the same thoughts about themselves that I do? Like “is this really what we want to validate of women?” Is this what the world has come to? Do I need to contour my entire body and have every ounce of every french fry I’ve ever eaten CoolSculpted off of my thighs? Because that would be a long process and expensive!
So I sit here and I honestly ask myself, if people keep acting this way towards women eventually Instagram is going to just be overly filtered women doing lifestyle shots and painting a picture of a reality that in actual fact doesn’t exist for the majority of us women! And it pisses me off! But I realized something, and this is the hardest part...
My insecurities with myself are what fuel my opinion. Any person anywhere whether male or female can be and do whatever the hell they want to do. At the end of the day none of them are sitting here telling me who I must be... there are plenty of women kicking ass who aren’t on Instagram posting their latest bikini shot. But I am the one looking on Instagram and I am the women who is telling myself that she isn’t good enough! It’s me! It’s not them, it’s me!
This is the truth! If I want a better tomorrow for the females of the future, then it starts with me and me being proud of who I am and where I’ve come from and my beautiful self standing here today! I’ve forgotten to love and admire myself and to create the scenery of life that I want to see around me! So you know what, be yourself and be kind to others because everyone has their own story and their own struggles with what they believe their shortcomings are.
We are all unique beautiful creatures. My self-love starts now💙